Finding the Gap

Mindfulness is particularly useful  in helping us deal with difficult emotions. 

Crucially, as we develop mindful awareness of our emotions, we sharpen our ability, as Salzberg says, to "recognize a feeling just as it begins, not fifteen consequential actions later." 

We begin to find the "gap" between what triggers our emotions and our usual conditioned reactions. In that space, we have the opportunity to act in a different, more skillful way.

Salzberg offers the acronym, RAIN to help remember the steps in dealing with emotions mindfully and gaining some control and mastery over whether our emotions carry us away or whether we can manage them and continue to stay grounded and in control of our actions: 

Recognizing what you are feeling. 

Accepting the emotion or emotions that are arising

Investigating the emotion with unbiased interest rather than running from it

Not Identifying with the emotion. Whatever you might feel at any moment is temporary and not your entire self

By practicing RAIN as you sit, being mindful of your emotions, you get in touch with your capacity to "witness" your internal life - both thoughts and feelings - without having them rule you. 

I encourage you to continue to work with Salzberg's guided meditation, Mindfulness of Emotions, in the Real Happiness link on the right, if that's helpful. I also encourage you to continue to find moments of mindfulness throughout each day. 

You've been doing this for three weeks now, and it may be getting harder to commit day-to-day. Hopefully you're also noticing some changes in the way you react and in your relationship to your experiences. 

Please share, if you feel comfortable ...

Another mindfulness meditation opportunity

The Counseling and Wellness Center is offering a 4-week mindfulness workshop for students only.

It will meet on four consecutive Tuesdays from 1 to 2:10 p.m. starting next Tuesday, Feb. 25. We will meet in the Multi-faith Center.

Here is what students in the past have said about this program:

This course was such a wonderful experience and added A LOT to my experience with meditation and Marymount. 

I loved it, I will do it again next semester!

If you can commit to attending all four sessions, please sign up by sending me an email at ssorrentino@mmm.edu. 

Letting Go.

How do you let go of the thoughts that pop up without judgment? This past week I find myself really struggling with this question.

During mediation the thoughts that come up seem to just float in from somewhere else, I don’t feel like I am really in charge of where they are coming from because I’m actively not thinking about anything other than my breathing.  I know that once I notice them I am supposed to acknowledge them and let them go but that is really difficult for me.  I am frustrated when something silly (like remembering that I wanted to Google something) pops into my head and pulls my concentration. It takes me a few minutes to get back into the swing of things and more it happens during one session the more frustrated I get.

I guess the challenge for this week to realize that while I’m not in control of what pops into my head I can control how I respond to it. 

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Wrapping up Week 2

Congratulations, you've now been practicing meditation for two weeks. Before we move into Week 3, when you will add a fifth day of practice, a few last thoughts on the body techniques learned last week.

Focusing awareness on our bodies last week helped us begin to notice the stuff we "add on" to our direct experience -- our preoccupation with the past, the future, our worries and the long-held assumptions through which we see the world. In choosing to consciously practice mindfulness and come into the present moment, even fleetingly, we begin to shift the balance. We start to be able to gather our attention more frequently and get lost in our automatic-responses less frequently.

Progress is the result of frequency of practice. And, as you've no doubt realized, setting aside 20 minutes for daily practice is one tough habit to develop. As you work on that, it will help to also remember to try to incorporate moments of mindfulness throughout your day. Set the daily intention to be more mindful and you will begin to have flashes throughout your day when you notice you've been lost in thought, arrived at your destination without even realizing you were travelling, suddenly tuned into a conversation you had been oblivious to. Notice that those when you wake up are moments of mindfulness. The second you recognize you had checked out from your own experience is the moment you have checked back in. And that is mindfulness practice: noticing and beginning again.

Here are a couple other things to try:

• A few times throughout the day, stop what you're doing and become aware of your body. I do this sometimes when I'm waiting for the train. I feel my feet on the platform, my posture, my bag on my shoulder, the air around me, the smells, the sounds, the sights, and maybe notice whether I am having a reaction of some kind - thoughts, feelings?  And that's it, a moment of mindfulness.
• Drinking your coffee or tea or double mocha frappa-latte or whatever. Tune into the feel of the cup in your hands, use your senses. Notice the intention to lift the cup to your mouth, the feel of the liquid entering your mouth. Feel the sensations of the liquid in your mouth, maybe holding it there briefly before swallowing and noticing what your tongue or lips or throat are doing. Then as you swallow, feeling the liquid moving into your stomach, and maybe noticing the rising of the intention to lift the cup back to your mouth.
• Choose any everyday activity and bring your full awareness to it. Try slowing it down and noticing it that way. Whatever thought or emotion that arises from paying attention to something so automatic, notice that too. Meet those thoughts and feelings with a gentle acknowledgement: This is what's happening right now, and it's perfectly OK. 

 Today begins Week 3 which will focus on emotions. To the right, in the Real Happiness link, you will find Salzberg's intro to Mindfulness of Emotions and also a guided meditation. These can help you in your practice.

What's the big deal about this moment?

We spend our time in meditation practice being present in this moment ... and this moment ... and this moment. Catching ourselves when we've strayed into planning and fantasizing and rehearsing the future or longing for or regretting or reliving the past. And we bring ourselves back, again and again to our experience in just this  moment.

So, what's the big deal? Why is this important to do?

During this past week, the value of being grounded in the present and fully aware of my experience in each moment has been driven home.

 I'm caught up in a debate within a volunteer group I'm part of, and I can't seem to drop thinking about it, not even long enough to think about and attend to other really important aspects of my life. I have found myself almost obsessively rehearsing the future and reliving the past.

And how has that strategy benefited me? Well, I'm tense, my muscles hurt, I'm unhappy, I've said things I regret, I'm not enjoying gifts like snow days. So, how has this benefited me? Um ...not! It certainly hasn't turned the debate in my direction. Only I am suffering.

And what happens if I come back to the present moment? My awareness opens up. It's like pulling the camera back from macro zoom focus to panorama focus, and I can see a much larger picture. This brings a sense of calm and clarity. The tension and sense of urgency and clutching onto my position and my point of view can drop away. I still might not win the debate, but if I don't, I'll be able to accept that.

Here's a quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn, a significant writer and teacher of mindfulness meditation:

... there is nothing particularly unusual or mystical about meditating or being mindful. All it involves is paying attention to your experience from moment to moment. This leads directly to new ways of seeing and being in your life because the present moment, whenever it is recognized and honored, reveals a very special, indeed magical power: it is the only time that any of us ever has. The present is the only time that we have to know anything. It is the only time we have to perceive, to learn, to act, to change, to heal. 

How is your meditation practice going? What have you noticed? Please feel free to share ...

May you be happy!

Walking Meditation

So, how has the Body Scan been going? My guess is that some of you love it and others of you hate it. When I first started practicing the Body Scan, I pretty much got as far as my left ankle and feel asleep every time. Now, I sometimes practice it sitting in a chair, which helps keep me awake, and I find it is very grounding. It's a good way to settle my mind when I feel flighty or distracted.

The next body-centered meditation is the Walking Meditation. Simple enough, the practice is to gently rest your attention on the sensations of walking. The Real Happiness Audio Files link to the right contains both Salzberg's intro to Walking Meditation and a Guided Walking Meditation. I recommend them both.

The Walking Meditation is done with eyes open (so you don't crash into anything). Since the focus is on an everyday activity, it can serve as a bridge for being mindful of all the movements we make throughout the day. It's a way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, rather than having it be only something you do for 20 minutes, once a day.

The basic instructions are to give yourself enough space to be able to walk across a room (if it were warmer weather, you could try it outside). Then, stand in a relaxed posture, and bring your attention to your feet making contact with the floor. As you prepare to take a step, notice the subtle shifting of your weight, the muscles in your legs engaging, the shift in your balance from one leg to the other as you step forward and set your foot down. And then just walk, noticing what it feels like in your body. When you get to the other side of the room, turn around and come back. And repeat. If it helps, make a mental note "touch, touch" as you put each foot down. Or, "lift, place lift place" as each foot lifts up and touches down. If that's not helpful, don't bother. You can experiment with speed as well, walking first at a normal speed, then slowing it down and speeding it up. And as with any other meditation, when you notice you are not paying attention to walking, gently and kindly escort your attention back to the sensations of walking.

Note on Body Scan link

If you're having trouble opening the link, please try a different browser. I could open it in Google Chrome, but not Internet Explorer. We're trying to get this fixed ...